Because in doing that, I see that what I'm worried about is not worth worrying over. The cycle continues. The sun will continue to rise, money will be made and spent and made again, people are dying while others are being born, the process of decay enables new life to come.
The oats sprouted a few days ago. To my surprise the erect stalks of luscious green were more beautiful than I imagined they would be. I am using it as cat grass for now, but will plant it in the spring to show my kids where oats come from. I will make oatmeal, even if it is only ONE small bowl of oats that I harvest. I will make oat bread because bread is the stuff of life. Even in the middle of winter, I am growing green things. The herbs are doing well. All I have to do to bring instantaneous joy to my whole being is rub the leaves between my finger tips and breathe it in... Imagine, the smell of roses and thyme and basil in winter. It's incredible.
So, in a few weeks/months I will be sprouting seeds and starting them indoors for planting in Spring. I will be enacting lessons learned last season and applying new-found knowledge. I do not always use the herbs or the vegetables to the extent that I could (lessons in freezing and storing herbs and vegetables is my next big project); sometimes I think I grow them just to remind myself of the ancient ways and the ancient knowledge that is carried within, just to keep it actively alive. Don't kid yourself into thinking the old ways are dead; they most certainly are not. Nor will they ever be, as they are ingrained into our DNA. Tapping into that wisdom is the trick. I feel those secrets are unlocked during the process of sowing, growing, and harvesting. Try it for yourself and see how it speaks to you. It is easy to start, and does not even take money if you have a spoon for scooping dirt, the bottom half of a square carton of milk, and a few seeds. I think myself and some others I know are contributing to a non-professional "seed bank" without it being officially discussed or organized as such; because we all know the potential of having seeds around "just in case", and by sharing them with each other, we know the diversity will only just continue to grow.
Thanks for reading this post. This is how I deal with things, by talking it out and presenting the benefits of Nature in black and white for you here. No matter my mood or what has happened during the day, I always find it heals me. You, the reader, assist without even knowing... <3